Friday, April 8, 2011

........they were not meant for each other

“Our love story ended eleven years ago, Sham.”
Hisham shook his head and said, ”No, Sue. I never stop loving you. I love you every day, every minute and every moment of my life. I love you more and more and never a moment I live without loving you. Our love never ends and it will never end.”
Suzana wanted to say the same too but she could not. She knew and realised that their future would tell a different story. It would not be possible for her to love or continue loving this man. She had to face it and tell Hisham so that he too would be able to face the reality and start a new life, although she knew it might hurt both of them. That minute, she decided to tell Hisham the truth.
She took a deep breath and prayed that Allah would give her all the strength she needed. Hisham was waiting for her words, her explanation, impatiently. She would never want to hurt this man whom she loved very much. She knew what she would say would hurt him tremendously but she had no other choice.
“Hisham, I loved you, I still love you and will always love you but......” Suzana could not finish her sentence. She was trying to find the most suitable words but she failed to do so. It was difficult for her and there were more tears coming from her eyes.
Hisham did not take his eyes off her and deep in his heart he knew that what he would hear would not be of what he had wanted and desired. He could see something unpleasant through her eyes which were so transparent of her feelings. Her eyes had always been so sincere of what she felt and thought. They would shine and be lively when she was happy but would be gloomy and quiet when she was hurt. Her eyes could never lie but that moment he hoped very much that what he saw in her eyes was not true.
“Hisham, we are not meant for each other....., during your absence I learned to love someone else. It took me many years to realise how much he loves me..” Suzana closed her eyes tightly as she dared not witness the injury she had caused to the man.
Hisham was speechless. All that he had hoped for and dreamed about were destroyed and he felt as if his heart and soul were ripped off from him. Suddenly there were emptiness and lifeless feeling inside him. He had desired to be the only man loved by Suzana, the only man who had the right to love her, to caress her and to be with her so that he could hold her and share her happiness and sadness, her joy and sorrow. He had always desired to be her life partner, to be able to see her smile every day,  listen to her soothing voice ,  tease her, make her laugh and giggle , be there for her and grow old together. Those were what he had hoped for eleven years. Was it his fault? Had he not tried hard enough to look for her? There were too many questions and he could not forgive himself. He was to be blamed. He could have done something eleven years ago....but it was too late now. He was losing the woman he had longed to spend his life with.
Unable to endure the frustration and hurt, he turned away from her but his eyes caught the sight of the big tree and it hurt him even more. All the beautiful memories they had and the unbearable feeling of losing her came simultaneously. This could not be happening to him.
“God, please give me some strength.....” He whispered to himself.
Suzana could see his trembling shoulders and she had never seen him in so much pain. The tall, tanned and handsome man who had always been her hero, so strong and protective when she was in college, was now in great pain and she could not help him. She had caused the hurt and great wrench he was experiencing.   She had never dreamed that their relationship would end such a painful way. It was neither his nor her fault. It was their fate that they were not meant for each other. 

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