Friday, August 24, 2012

..you are still madly in love with me....and I love you.

     Sitting in the car with Adli next to her, at the same time thinking about her meeting with Hisham earlier that day, made her uncomfortable and restless. She was hit by guilt; guilty to both Hisham and Adli. Her life was such a mess right now and she was helpless. The way Hisham looked at her before their goodbye kept on coming to her mind. She had to admit that she loved him very much and the eleven years apart did not change her feeling toward him but made her love grow stronger and deeper. Seeing him again after those years had made her realise how she loved him even more.
     "Sue....you're not listening..." Adli broke the silence.
     Suzana startled and looked at the man next to her. She smiled and apologised for not listening to him.
     "Why, Sue? What's wrong? You look pale and....did something happen?" The tanned man whom she learned to love after Hisham left her sounded worried. It was clearly shown on his face.
     Suzana shrugged her shoulder, nothing came out from her mouth as she did not know what to say. She was afraid she might say something that would hurt him because she was not at the right state of mind that moment. Her mind and heart was filled with Hisham and their memories together. She was confused; how  she could  think of Hisham when Adli was beside her. She dared not look at Adli.
     The desire to have Hisham next to her came suddenly and the feeling was very strong. She could not have this feeling, it was not right. She had to fight it, she reminded herself. However, the more she fought, the more it came and it was stronger and stronger. She longed for the man. She started to miss him and longed  to be with him, to see his smile again, to feel his presence. She could in fact smell him right now. Ridiculous, she told herself, this could not be happening. She told Hisham that their story ended eleven years ago and yet she could not take him out of her mind and heart. The scene in the lift the second day at the course kept on coming to her mind. Standing tall in front of her, Hisham spoke and smiled, telling her to look into his eyes and tell him she did not love him anymore.
     Suddenly, her cell phone rang which brought her back to the present. She cleared her throat and answered the call. "Hello.."
    "Hello, Sue..." the husky voice at the other end replied.
    Suzana paused, shocked to hear the voice.
    "Sue, I love you..." Hisham continued. " Sue, if you plan to marry the man, you will end up feeling sorry for him your whole life...because you love me not him,  you are still madly in love with me....and I love you. I will not give up easily, not this time" Hisham ended the call abruptly.